by P.S. Gifford
Recently I have been through the worst experience of my life --an
experience that I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy.
My wife left me and took the son I had adopted as my own with her.
She also took a good deal of furniture and other belongings we had
accumulated other the years.
I was shocked. I never saw it coming. Sure we had had a few
quarrels lately, but nothing worse than an average couple. Financial woes
were tremendous strain on us, but I solemnly believed we could survive
it all together.
What she left behind were our dogs -- Sir Winston and Chester.
Now it is remarkable how in tune and sensitive dogs can be. As I
wept on the couch, bewildered and confused, they sat quietly nearby
with their tails down. I knew they understood that two key members of
the pack were absent. I've tried to maintain the usual routine over the
past few days, which is hard when the person you planned to be with till
death did us part was missing.
As a rule, Winston sleeps under our bed and Winston by the open
window. On the first night she wasn't there, I put Winston on her
empty pillow -- a pillow that still spelled provocatively of her scent.
He was restless as he sniffed around. This wasn't his spot. She might
be upset if she returned.
He jumped off the bed and back to his usual position. So for the
following two nights the same sleeping arrangements were maintained.
A dog likes to know where he stands in the world and likes to have
a routine.
To be honest, I have barely slept in the last four days. I simply
replay memory after memory within my mind's eye. Recollecting all of
the special, loving moments we had shared.
Morning would arrive and I would take the dogs into the back
garden as my morning coffee brewed. Every night I felt sure that I
would sleep the next day. The second night I tried some sleep aid and
yet the restlessness continued. The next morning, at seven, the only
difference was that I had an aching head.
Sleep isn't the only thing I have been depriving myself. I have
also lost all appetite. When I attempt to eat food it would lodge in my
throat and I would simply feel nauseous. I lost ten pounds in four days.
Well, last night things were more pleasant. As we all rested in
our designated spots I heard Winston barking. Thinking he was in need
of a late night restroom break, I escorted the two dogs outside. They
ran around, looked bemused, and after a few minutes of inactivity we
returned back upstairs.
An hour later the same thing happened. Winston was restless,
and once more down the stairs and outside we went. Still nothing.
It was 5:30am this morning when it happened a third time. I looked
at Winston and something clicked in my head. With a swoop of my arm
I picked him up and placed him on Sarah's pillow. He responded with a
flurry of kisses then rolled on his back, nestled against my cheek and
fell into a sleep.
Shortly after, I too must have fallen asleep because the next
thing I knew it was 9am! I looked at Winston who was peering at me
through smiling eyes and gave his fuzzy head a good scratch.
"Good boy," I said through a yawn. Once more he attacked me with
kisses.
I am a lot brighter today, and I feel we have a new family routine.
I am also going to try and eat a little breakfast.
-- P.S. Gifford <psgifford at earthlink.net>
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