Today's KDD: Feellings of Ambivalence

Its 9; 04 on Monday June Twenty-five,

And I am listening to our XM Radio, Channel 25,

This station, is called the Blend,

And how are you friend?

I have a headache, its allergy related,

It was very nice to stay in bed,

And wake hours after the sun rose,

And here I am, this KDD for you all, I compose

I have been thinking of not posting anymore KDD's to my site,

Yet, I'd still write,

I have been feeling ambivalent about the entire thing,

About, the KDD's I do bring,

Most every day, to my blog, on the net,

And those who may see them, are people, I never met.

Strangers could find themselves here, and come take a look,

If, I feel this way, how can I ever publish a book?

My KDD's, they could review

So, I am not sure, if I am through.

Some of you, my KDD's, you enjoy reading,

I am not sure, exactly what I am needing,

And how I can ignore the self critic and just continue posting to this
site,

I know, how much I love to write

Every day, it's quite evident,

In the messages that are sent,

To a select few,

And here to the blog, for you.

For so many years, much of myself, I did not reveal,

Certainly, did not tell others I did not know, what I thought and did feel,

And even those I knew, I found difficult to allow him or her, to get to
know, the real me,

Much of me, for a long time, noone did see.

I felt like I was an outsider looking in, like I was an outcast,

Yet, I think, that all is in the past?

And not how I am today?

There is a part of me, I would love to continue, posting here, Think it's
very cool indeed,

That not only you all can reed

But, I can visit here and return,

See for myself, how my days were spent, and learn,

To grow and gain,

To see what thoughts filled my brain?

And see what I had journaled about, the thoughts I did jot, what I did
say,

This is a very unique way.

I do feel like a Jo et kind of,

This hobby, I always did love.

A Jo Et? You never heard of such a thing?

Well, go back to April, and see the KDD to you all I did bring

Then, you will understand, it all will make more sense,

And I feel like I sit, on the fence,

Not knowing what direction to take,

What changes I should make?

And how I can get passed this? The self critic, I really do need to ignore

I'd some day, would like to have a novel, on the shelves of a book store,

And be a best selling Author,

Yet, much more,

I need to do, to get passed and write, need to edit,

No worries, I won't quit,

But, would like some advice, do you have anything for me?

At this rate, that mystery-romance novel, will never be published

As I wished, if I am still having doubts today?

It would not hurt to just try and I could fail?

Should go beyond just sending mail?

But how? what tips do you have?, what do you say?

This is my thoughts for today.