for me, one of my best. After several years of being on the patterning
program I finally was able to begin being a " real Kid". It was that year,
at age 8, I learned to swim, ride a bike and began to write hand-written
letters to my Grandparent's and friends. it was then, my love for writing
began. Take care.
Helpful Tips
(to Make Life Simpler)
Old telephone books make ideal personal address books. Simply cross out the
names and addresses of people you don't know.
Fool other drivers into thinking you have an expensive car phone by holding
an old TV or video remote control up to your ear and occasionally swerving
across
the road and mounting the curb.
Lose weight quickly by eating raw pork and rancid tuna. I found that the
subsequent food poisoning enabled me to lose 12 pounds in only 2 days.
Avoid parking tickets by leaving your windshield wipers turned to fast wipe
whenever you leave your car parked illegally.
No time for a bath? Wrap yourself in masking tape and remove the dirt by
simply peeling it off.
Apply red nail polish to your nails before clipping them. The red nails will
be much easier to spot on your bathroom carpet. (Unless you have a red
carpet,
in which case a contrasting polish should be selected).
If a person is choking on an ice cube, don't panic. Simply pour a jug of
boiling water down their throat and presto! The blockage is almost instantly
removed.
Save on booze by drinking cold tea instead of whiskey. The following morning
you can create the effects of hangover by drinking a thimble full of dish
washing
liquid and banging your head repeatedly on the wall.
Color coordinate your pet with your furniture & carpets. That way, the hair
won't show if you don't regularly sweep it up.
Author Unknown - Submitted By: Sandra R.
My Resignation
I am hereby officially tendering
my resignation as an adult. I have
decided I would like to accept the
responsibilities of an 8 year-old again.
I want to go to McDonald's and think
that it's a four star restaurant.
I want to sail sticks across a fresh mud
puddle and make a sidewalk with rocks.
I want to think M&Ms are better than
money because you can eat them.
I want to lie under a big oak tree and
run a lemonade stand with my friends on
a hot summer's day.
I want to return to a time when life was
simple; When all you knew were colors,
multiplication tables, and nursery
rhymes, but that didn't bother you,
because you didn't know what you
didn't know and you didn't care.
All you knew was to be happy because you were
blissfully unaware
of all the things that should make you worried or
upset.
I want to think the world is fair.
That everyone is honest and good.
I want to believe that anything is
possible. I want to be oblivious
to the complexities of life and be
overly excited by the little things
again.
I want to live simple again. I
don't want my day to consist of
computer crashes, mountains of paperwork,
depressing news, how to survive more days
in the month than there is money in the
bank, doctor bills, gossip, illness,
and loss of loved ones.
I want to believe in the power of
smiles, hugs, a kind word, truth,
justice, peace, dreams, the imagination,
mankind, and making angels in the snow.
So . . . here's my checkbook
and my car-keys, my credit card bills
and my 401K statements.
I am officially
resigning from adulthood.
And if you want to discuss this
further, you'll have to catch me
first, cause........
......"Tag! You're it."
Pass this to someone and brighten
their day by helping them remember
the Simple things in Life.
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